Feedback Focus: Tactics That Help Me

Note-taking:  Pixabay

During class this week, we tried several different ways of taking notes to give good feedback.  I was able to experience each new type of note taking and learn new ways to focus.  In order of helpfulness to me, these tactics were setting a time, copy-and-delete, and reading out loud. 

I started with the reading out loud strategy.  This strategy did not really help me because I have always had a problem with comprehending what I am reading when I read aloud.  I understood the stories better when I was reading them in my head, because instead of focusing on pronouncing the words, I could visualize the story in my head.  I did not care for this strategy, and I will probably not use it to give feedback to my classmates.  I also found it a little awkward to read out loud to nobody. 

My second strategy was copy-and-delete.   I feel that this strategy would work well with longer stories or when I am trying to make a very substantial comment.  With this strategy, I had a hard time finding something to comment on in some paragraphs, and in others there was too much.  When I combined my notes from each paragraph, my comment appeared a little disjointed as well.  I like this strategy because it keeps me on track and makes me notice the little details.  I will probably use this strategy on longer stories that I am giving feedback on. 

Finally, my favorite strategy that I learned was to set a timer.  I really liked this strategy because it kept me focused for a full 20 minutes.  When I set a timer, I found that I did not get distracted as much by things going on around me or by my phone.  I like this strategy because I can read the story in my head, and then reread it, or just reread the interesting parts.  I will definitely use this strategy when I do the majority of my project feedback comments for my classmates. 

Week 4 Story: Rama's Regret

Sita in the 1920's Wiki

He was the stereotypical tall dark and handsome... and I fell in love with him.  It ended up being the stupidest choice of my entire life.  He turned out to be the biggest jerk you could ever imagine.  Wanna hear the story?  Here goes...

I was living in a big city, pursuing my dreams as a flapper girl dancer at the local Speakeasy.  It wasn't the most honorable life, but I kept my values and I loved the glamour of the lifestyle... and hey it was an easy job that was new and empowering to women my age.  I met a lot of guys... but Rama... he was different from the first time I met him.  I fell madly in love with him, following him everywhere, and slowly losing myself.  I always considered myself a strong and independent woman, but when I was with Rama I found myself depending on him for everything.  I was so in love with him that my life starting revolving around whatever he wanted. 

We were together for quite a while, but he never talked about us getting married.  I didn't want to give up my glamorous lifestyle and he disapproved of it secretly.  I found this out the day that I told him I was pregnant with his child.  He didn't believe me.  He told me he loved me but we could never be together because he didn't trust me because of my job.  He was quite an affluent man, and he didn't want to ruin his reputation by marrying me.  So he told me to leave. 

I had nowhere to go because I had become so dependent on Rama.  I would soon lose my job due to my pregnancy, and it was definitely frowned upon to be in my situation during this time.  I took all the money I had and bought a small apartment in a sketchy part of town.  I kept my job for as long as I could, and saved everything up in my apartment, because it wasn't much and I didn't care for banks. 

I had the babies... twins and moved on with my life.  I started out as a secretary for an up and coming business and my life slowly started to turn around.  I worked my way up the chain and now I am making more money than Rama ever did, I fell in love even harder than before, got married, and I have been raising my boys happily with my new husband...but that's not the end of the story just yet. 

The other day Rama decided to try to find me.  As it turns out, he lost all of his fortune in the great depression.  He has been miserable ever since, never being able to regain his money or status even when the economy recovered.  He contacted me to try to convince me that he had made a mistake and wanted me back.  When I said no, he went for custody of the boys... which was obviously shot down immediately by the courts since I have a stable family, have raised the boys since the beginning, and I make more money than he ever will again. 

Maybe I should feel bad for this miserable man, but I don't.  He had no compassion for me when I was carrying his children, so he can go enjoy what's left of his unhappy life.  As for me, I'm the happiest woman in the world.  I'm Sita, the queen of the big city, the girl who overcame the selfishness of Rama, and the woman who regained her strength and independence. 



AUTHOR'S NOTE:  This story was based upon Nina Paley's version of the Ramayana: Sita Sings the Blues, which can be found here.  I twisted the story to be about the relationship between Rama and Sita, and I made Sita into a stronger character.  I wanted her to have the victory in the end since Rama treated her so badly.  The setting and time were changed from India in BC times to the 1920s in the United States. 

Reading Notes: Sita Sings the Blues Part B

Rama turns his back on Sita Flickr

In part B of Sita sings the blues, a new part of the Ramayana was presented to me, which I did not read in Narayan's Ramayana.  In this part of the story, Sita and Rama return to the castle and Rama becomes king.  Shortly after, Sita tells Rama that she is pregnant and Rama again begins to doubt her character.  He tells his servant to take her to the forest and leave her there.  She has twins in the forest and they are raised to love, worship, and respect Rama.  Rama returns years later and wants to take the boys back to his castle as his sons to rule, but he makes Sita prove her faithfulness to him yet again.  This results in Sita's death (at least it is implied in this movie) and Rama feels some guilt. 

I have enjoyed reading the Ramayana and experiencing it through film, until this last section.  I want to believe that Sita is a strong woman and she is not dependent on Rama's love.  The move ends with Rama rubbing Sita's feet and Sita winking, so I think that Nina wanted the story to end with the woman in power as well, but I want it to be less implied in my version of the story. 

For my storytelling this week, I will write about Rama and Sita's love story in the 1920s.  Sita will be a flapper girl and the story will unfold so that Rama again questions Sita's character, but this time, Sita will control the power and Rama will realize his mistakes in treating Sita badly. 

Source:  Nina Paley, Sita Sings the Blues:  Video and Viewing Guide

Reading Notes: Sita Sings the Blues Part A

 

Sita Sings the Blues Flickr

This week, instead of reading, I watched the movie Sita Sings the Blues by Nina Paley: here is a link to the reading guide and YouTube Video. 

This story follows really closely with Nayaran's Ramayana, but it is a lot more artistic.  The music that Sita sings reminds me a lot of the 1920's and I think I may want to use that as a theme for my writing.  I also like that the story focuses more on the love between Rama and Sita rather than the fighting and battle like in the other Ramayana I read.  It is also interesting how Nina intertwined the story of her personal relationship with the story of Rama and Sita and with India.  I am curious about how that part of this movie will end and I am looking forward to watching part two. 

My story this week will most likely focus on the relationship between Rama and Sita, but I will move the time to the 1920s and maybe Sita can be a flapper girl or some kind of show girl.  I am not yet sure of the setting for my story, but I am pretty sure I want to write about Rama and Sita's relationship this time and cut out the battle parts.  Hopefully I will inspired with a good setting and more parts to the story in the second half of the movie!